The Wicked Wait

I went to open the door, but it was locked. I stood in the hallway for what seemed like 10 minutes. I could hear a little voice behind the door. I knew I should have had more grace for whatever child was in there… but I found myself tapping my food with impatience. It was a busy day at the coffee shop, and I had left two people on the floor as so I could run to the bathroom. Finally I heard the toilet flush and sighed in relief. The door opened and out filed a mother with her two children. “Sorry!” she said, “there was three of us!” “It’s okay!” I said, acting unperturbed. “It’s bound to take awhile with that crew!” She had no idea how annoyed I really was.

I suck at waiting. I’m a “go-getter” and “make-it-happen” kind of person. I work hard to get what I want and to be successful in whatever my hand finds to do. But there are certain things in my life that God has regularly thwarted all of my attempts to change or to obtain. His answer to certain desires of my heart has been “WAIT” for years! However, I usually ignore his whisper that says “wait,” and find myself striving to satisfy my heart that screams “Get it now!”

I am so prone to try and be my own Provider, my own Comforter, my own Sustainer and the Fulfiller of my every desire. It has been in the WAITING that I have come to know the true Savior.

In the Wait I met a Savior who is…

…the daily healer of a broken heart.

…the friend that is closer than a brother when all seems lost.

… the one who provides my daily bread.

… the one who picks me up when I fail and fall and strengthens me to keep moving forward.

… the presence that can bring peace to any turmoil of the soul.

… the giver of the best gifts.

… the only fulfillment of my aching soul.

I am getting better at the wait. I am still tempted to try and make things happen for myself. But I’m learning to refrain and resist the urge. God is big enough to bring the things together in my life that he wants there in his timing. If I believe he has planned my every step like scripture says, why do I try so hard to plan my own life? My plans will fall painfully short of His masterful design.

I recently began taking yoga classes. There are a couple of poses that are very difficult for me. I get frustrated that I can’t balance my entire body on my forearms or fold forward in tree position. But I can’t… not yet. I have to work up to that level of strength and flexibility. And when I try, it hurts! My instructor often says, “Relax into the discomfort and the pose will become easier.” She’s right. Every time I relax, I’m able to go further than before.

Relax into the discomfort. I usually resist the discomfort of waiting. Could it be that if I stopped resisting the WAIT, it would get easier? I pray I can trust God more and relax into the discomfort of waiting. Deep down I know my Father is good and he has only the best of intentions towards me. I long to live and operate with that truth coursing through my being.

Ecclesiastes 6:10 “Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny.”

So wait… I will for my God to fulfill his best laid plans for me.